Ailie Shackleton is Head of Content Marketing at Impact
If you’re older than 20, you’ve officially been a nine-ender. I’m currently a nine-ender… but what does this mean and should I be making more of this year?
What is a nine-ender?
Nine-enders are people whose age ends in the number nine (29, 39, 49 etc). Ages when (it is reported) something shifts in our thinking.
Adam Alter and Hal Hershfield coined the phrase in 2014, having analysed the responses of over 42,000 people from 100 countries as part of the World Values survey. Alter and Hershfield used observed data to back up their theory that these are the years where we are most likely to make life-changing decisions, take on big challenges or set ambitious goals. They found that nine-enders are 48% more likely to sign up to their first marathon… but they also found that 18% of the men on a dating site for extramarital affairs were nine-enders. Arguably, not all life-changing decisions are positive.
Is nine-ender a real thing?
I’ve found myself spending more time reflecting on my past decade – thinking about what’s changed, questioning where I’m at and where I should be. A lot has happened: I’ve moved jobs, houses, lost loved ones and lived through a global pandemic. I’ve become familiar with the phrase “if you can’t go round it, you’ve got to go through it”! But I can honestly say that I’ve learnt from it all, I’ve challenged my self-limiting beliefs and I’m happier about the thought of a new decade than ever before.
My nine-ender year has certainly brought me reflection and introspection, but is it a real phenomenon? I asked my global colleagues for their experiences.
Thoughts from nine-enders
“I began my 39th year solo in a Japanese onsen. This time alone made me evaluate my identity, values, and desires. I impulsively bought a home – both terrifying and amazing – and I realised, painfully, that some things I always thought I will do, I won’t. Saying goodbye was incredibly hard.”
“I quit smoking after 17 years of a 50-a-day habit. Cold turkey, with no nicotine replacements. It felt liberating, but emotional. I was saying goodbye to a core part of my personality. Now, I just feel proud.”
“I started questioning where I wanted to be and impulsively decided to return to the UK – but then allowed my rational brain to think it through more carefully.”
“My nine-ender years, on reflection: 19, studied peace;, 29, ran a marathon;, 39, set up my own business;, 49, adjusted to life as children leave home. My advice for all periods is 'don’t think too hard, pick your team to get you through, experiment and just do it'.”
How to make the most of milestone years
My colleagues also shared how they changed their approach having been a nine-ender:
“Four of my local friends died unexpectedly at 49. That was a wake-up call: life isn't a rehearsal. ‘Procrastination is the thief of time, act now!’."
“For me, the shift happened as an eight-ender, and now I'm looking forward to having a year to justify doing all the challenges and experiences I've put off!”
“What have I done with all the time I have had? Did I use it wisely? Now I am more intentional about time...about squeezing every drop of enjoyment out of everything I'm doing and the people I'm doing it with.”
“I had a wakeup call earlier in life (pre 29) after losing my Dad. Life is too short to stress over unfulfilled dreams and expectations. The pressure can be overwhelming. It took years to process this, but now I approach milestone years as times for reflection and gratitude, not unmet goals. My Dad loved the George Carlin quote about not taking life so seriously you forget to enjoy it. Here it is: ‘"don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.’"
How can we apply this in learning and development?
Balancing on the cusp of a new decade is a unique opportunity for past reflection and the exploration of future possibility. Try this three-part reflection activity to help you unpack this:
First, look back at your self ten years earlier. Ask yourself these questions:
- What advice would you give them, based on what you know now?
- What are the biggest learnings you can identify from your past decade that you could share with them?
- What personal and professional milestones from this period would you want to celebrate with them?
Now, start a conversation with your future self.
- What will success look like for you in the decade ahead?
- What growth and development areas will you need to focus on to make this happen?
- What practical actions and steps will you need to take in order to get there?
Finally, take a minute to check in with yourself.
- How are you feeling?
- What kind of emotional response has this reflection activity provoked in you?
- What support might you need in order to get you through this transition and to make change happen?
How to embrace being a nine-ender
As I moved into my last decade my family and friends had one instruction ‘no numbers on my birthday card’. But this time around I choose to celebrate who I am and what I have. Life is short. Be with the people you love. Don’t make excuses.